just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize