I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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