so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
