I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
