I heard we made out
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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