I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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