i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
