wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
