Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
