I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
