R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
