I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
