one two three fourrrrnication!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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