So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
