OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
