Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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