tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
