Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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