In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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