are you still at the devil's house?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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