therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
