i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
