How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
