She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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