just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have post one night stand depression
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
