somebody snuck up and got me drunk
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Maybe he injected his testicle?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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