So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
