Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
