Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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