We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
