Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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