i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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