ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
