a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
