Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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