Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
