Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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