problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well you can't waste a boner
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
