forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
