Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
