Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
