i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
