omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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