Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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