just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
