Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
