Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize