You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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