Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize