He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
