he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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