The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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