Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
