It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
