I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
