Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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