I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
