she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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