So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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