you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
