Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
