Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
