are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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