Yo dont text me then not text me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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