i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Found your dick twin last night
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize