i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
